the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm at about main and main street
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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