Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
