If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
