Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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