I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
