Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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