I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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