i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
