you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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