Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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