He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
