found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
