I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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