I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You made out with two different species that night
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
