Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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