hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
