This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
