Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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