so that wasnt chicken after all
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
