do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
