I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Two words: blizzard sex
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
