we should wear snuggies to the strip club
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
