first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
