I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
