I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
