white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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