Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
