im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I woke up under a house in Key West
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
