And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Randomize
