just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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