Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
