I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
