Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
