I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She bit a glass in half.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
