soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
