Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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