Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
