I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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