Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
