I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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