Nicole vs. Life
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
how drunk are you?
Several
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
