:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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