There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
