It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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