It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
