he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
