its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
