Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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