At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
