Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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