So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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