Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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