He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
