You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
