I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
